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I was asked the question: How do I become content? what is true contentment?

Answer: You’re looking at it the wrong way around.

You can’t “be” content, you “are” content. Most people confuse happiness and joy with contentment. But it is not the same, We do things to make us happy, and we do things to make other people happy, but happiness and joy are not contentment. Happiness can be taken away from you. But with contentment, you can be happy, sad, angry and still be content.

Here is an example, I love my wife, and I am content in the relationship, I can be mad at her or happy with her, it doesn’t change how content I am in the relationship. If I am striving for a “happy” marriage, and for what ever reason we become unhappy then the relationship is doomed. But with contentment, those ups and downs don’t affect the relationship. The same applies to work, family, life anything.

Another good example to highlight contentment is your children. No matter what you feel right now or what ever your children do, your children make a part of you content. Did you do something to teach yourself to feel content with your children? No! You are present and aware of them always; you are grateful that they are in your life and it all happened without you even thinking about it.

When you are content everything just flows, more of this, more of that. Click To Tweet

So how do you become content in life? Parts of you already are. For the rest of it, you just have to be present. Present to every moment, it’s not what you are experiencing that makes you content, it is how aware you are of being present. When you are aware of everything, you will notice all the little details that you’re missing now and everything will begin to fall into place.

It’s all those little details that make you feel grateful. The saying “stop to smell the roses”, sums it up perfectly, what a beautiful smell, how amazing the petals are formed. It sounds silly, but you are present and aware, you’re grateful for the rose. When I get up in the morning, i think how amazing my work is, that I can do what I want to do. How great it is that it gives my family what they need, how amazing everyone is in life. How awesome it was to sit and talk to someone. All these things bring contentment into my life, and when I am content, happiness flows, see how it’s the other way around. Contentment comes through gratitude. All the other things are just the experiences, and they can come and go.

Every time you think of something negative, re state it as a positive. It works, and for years I have been doing it. At first, it was a full-time job; now I go months without needing to do it. But I do reflect on what I’m grateful for every single day.

When you are content everything just flows, more of this, more of that, life, money, relationships, work. You have to understand it before you can become it.